My Mum, Eden and Me

Eden has a grandmother that she will never meet. My mum passed away when I was nineteen – nine years before Eden was born. At the time of her passing, her never meeting my child wasn’t something I really concerned myself with. At that age, I didn’t want kids anyway, but it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to since Eden came into our lives. I know her grandmother would dote on her as all of her grandparents do, and there has always been a part of me that is sad that they never met. 

Someone shared this picture on Facebook the other day and I kept coming back to it. Even now, several days later, I keep coming back to it.


Now, I knew that female babies were born with all of their eggs. I just hadn’t ever given it any real thought. It hadn’t crossed my mind that part of what made Eden was grown inside my mum, and in turn part of what made me was grown inside my grandmother.

It gives me a lot of context as to why Eden looks so much like my mum did when she was a child and less like me. Her colouring is totally different to mine and I’ve always suspected that her light hair and blue eyes came from mum. It’s been a source of comfort for me since Eden was born and I had a whole new wave of grief for my mum to deal with. Feelings I hadn’t even thought about bubbled up to the surface and it brought a distinct feeling of “how can I do this without my mum?” Now I know she was there all along.

So, there it is. When my mum and dad made me, mum also took care of making her grandkids. Although she’s never met Eden, she played a part in her creation and for that I’m eternally grateful.


This entry was posted in 2018 and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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