Five Things No One Tells You About Having a Toddler

When we had Eden, I knew that having a baby would be a massive change in our lives. It was. Literally everything changes when you add a small human to your household – from the things that you eat, to how much sleep you get and how often you get out and about. It’s all change once the baby arrives.

What I didn’t realise, though, was that everything changes again once that tiny human becomes a slightly bigger human. Welcome to the magical world of… the toddler! Here’s five things I wish someone would have told me about having a toddler in the house. 

  1. They still don’t sleep!

Now, we’ve been fairly lucky in that Eden loves her sleep, but I have friends with toddlers coming up for age two that still don’t like sleep. What’s not to like, pesky toddlers? Sleep is wonderful! Thankfully Eden feels the same way as me, but I’m not sure what I would do if she ever changed her mind!


2. Tantrums are real…

I thought I was ready for tantrums. You know, in that “first time parent” way where you think “it can’t be that bad”. Let me tell you, nothing prepares you for your darling offspring laying face down on the floor. And the reason? I gave her the blue cup instead of the red cup. Or she’s realised she can’t pull her tights off like socks. No one prepared me for her shouting “HELP!!!” when I’m trying to strap her into the pushchair too – that’s fun!


3. Toddlers are Sponges

Yep. Every single one of them is a tiny sponge. But the sponge is selective. You can tell them a hundred times that their ear is called an ear and they will still call it an eye. But say “shit” once in front of them and they will remember it until the end of time and repeat it at every opportunity. Especially fun when you’re in polite company and your child shouts “I POOED!” to the lovely elderly lady who just asked how she was.


4. You Don’t Worry Less

I thought I would worry less about a toddler than I did when Eden was newborn, but it’s just not the case. It’s not more or less worry, a toddler is a different type of worry. Worry about whether they’re getting enough milk or putting on weight is replaced with worry about whether they ate actual food today or just scraps of things. Worry about belly buttons is replaced with worry about development. Worry about SIDS is replaced with… nope. That never goes away.


5. Toddlers are Assholes… but They’re Awesome Too!

This stage is hard. Every stage is hard and this one is no different. Toddlers literally drive you to the brink of despair. Just when you think you’ve hit the tantrum wall and you’re done with this feral beast that you somehow created, they look up at you, smile and they say “luff you mama”. then they wrap their little arms around your neck and squeeze a little too hard and you think ‘this isn’t so bad’ and your heart melts. Some days, you’d happily put your toddler in the bin, but there’s always the knowledge that really they are your best friend and they’re 100% on your side – that is unless you have no bananas and they want a banana…



What are your best and worst parts of having a toddler?



















This entry was posted in 2017 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Five Things No One Tells You About Having a Toddler

  1. Amy says:

    😂 I am now terrified. But also, awwwww.

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