Why is it that since being pregnant people say such stupid stuff? I’ve written about this in the past in this post, but now, twenty-nine weeks in (!!!!!) I thought it was time for part two. So, here we go again with some gems from the world of “advice”.
“Hahahahaha no more nice holidays now” – I’m sorry. Can we not take this child out of the country? Must we not leave the house for the forseeable?
“You won’t cope in labour” – what the hell do you know? Every labour is different and so is every person. And it’s not like you’ll be there to witness it anyway. Also, it’s not like I’ll be able to give up and go home half way through. If baby is coming, she’s coming. It’s not an optional endeavour.
“Should you be eating/drinking that?” Rest assured I know what I should and shouldn’t be drinking and eating.
“Eating for two are we?” Shut up. Especially people who say this every single time I eat and no matter what I’m eating.
“Oh, I can’t think of anything worse than having a baby due on Christmas day!” I can think of a lot of things that are worse than a baby due on Christmas Day. War? Famine? Stepping on a Lego Brick? Worm in your apple? Tripping and falling on your face? A headache? After three years of waiting she can have whatever birthday she wants.
“You’re pregnant. You don’t get dignity now. In labour you won’t care” – in labour no, I probably won’t care. But right now there’s nothing undignified about being pregnant. Right now I have as much dignity as the next person, thank you.
“Get your sleep now. You won’t get any when she’s here.” See, you must know how this works. You can’t bank sleep. It just doesn’t work like that. I can’t open a sleep savings account.
“No more collectables/candles/nice things now you’re going to have a baby” Why not? I really don’t understand this one.
“You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for.” We have MET children. But also, no I don’t. We’ve never done this before. This is new territory. Good territory, but new. Thanks for the positivity though…
“When I had a baby you didn’t need that.” Good for you.
“You’re going to get so fat.” Well yes. There is a human in my uterus. She’s bound to make me a tiny bit rounder… but it’s not fat. It’s a human.
“That cost HOW MUCH?” Are you paying? No? Then do you get an opinion on how we spend our money? No you don’t.
“She won’t come on her due date.” 5% of babies come on their due date. That’s a low number. So that means 95% chance she won’t. But what kind of crystal ball do you have that you can be totally sure?
“Are you going to rehome the dogs?” I think I need to write a whole other entry about how infuriating these words are. No. We’re not going to rehome our FAMILY dogs. As they are part of our FAMILY.
“Leave something for the rest of us to buy!” Unless we have bought every single baby item from every single shop, there’s no need to say this. You want to buy stuff, feel free to. If you want to buy something that we don’t have, how about asking what we need instead of making silly comments? We have a handy list!
“Oh you’ll change your mind about that/ Oh you’ll see / Wait until she gets here.” Usually said about any kind of parenting choice from nappies right through to feeding. Apparently any ideas we have now will 100% change once we “know better”.
So, there’s some of the more ridiculous “advice” that we have been given. Luckily there are some actually really helpful things scattered in between too, and a lot of people have been very positive about this amazing adventure that we are about to embark on. We know it’s not going to be rainbows and unicorns all the time, but sometimes people just say the most ridiculous things and you have to choose whether to laugh or cry! Let’s try to engage our brains before we speak.
With eleven weeks to go, I would imagine there will probably be another instalment of “things people say”. Feel free to share the most infuriating things people have said to you about being pregnant/having children. Some of the stuff I have read and seen have been amazing!
Rehome the dogs are you seriously? What is wrong with people!!
Yup. Been asked that by two or three people now. And when you say no they go “oh I don’t know… dogs and kids” and give you “that” look
Grr every kid should grow up with a dog in my opinion 😀
Unfortunately it seems to be a common way to think. That if you’re pregnant, you NEED to get rid of every single pet you have. I have two cats and two chinchillas, and I’m 12 weeks pregnant. They’re not going anywhere. They are my FAMILY and are as much my “children” as my baby will be.
Well to be honest, all my nice bowls and crystal and collectibles are collecting dust in a boxed shelf. I now collect toys, so I get where they are coming from, but depends on how people say. Some can be obnoxious. And rehoming dogs? Why!! How stupid to say that.
Oh yeah I sort of get it with regards to that, but they’re already stored up high because we have two dogs, so it’s not like they are reachable by a child. Especially not a newborn who can’t even hold up their head… lol
I can’t believe anyone would think you would rehome your dogs. From what I have seen of your dogs on Facebook they are going to love Eden. The things that get me are when people ask if you are going to have more and then throw in their two cents about when they think you should start trying again. Or ask what you are using for birth control…… I’m using a 10 week old right now, thank you very much.
Yeah we have already been asked once or twice about a second baby. I usually just say “let’s have this one first”.
The dogs are genuinely great with kids. If we still had Gizmo we would have had to consider options very carefully because he absolutely hated children and no amount of training would have fixed that. But Loki and Misty adore kids. Loki already adores her
There are more people that I wouldn’t want around Luke than there are animals. Loki sure does love to lay on your belly.
He does look slightly annoyed when he gets kicked in the face, though… hehe
I also get a lot of the “When I had a baby, we didn’t need that”/”How MUCH did you spend on that?” First of all, when YOU had your baby, the dinosaurs roamed the earth. Second, yes, I paid what it cost to have the things I wanted. You know what else I paid to have this baby? 40 THOUSAND DOLLARS for IVF. So yeah, that stroller didn’t seem particularly expensive…
I spent 9 straight months insisting that yes, I will be cloth diapering my son. Every person felt the need to tell me either I’ll never keep up with it or just flat out that I wouldn’t even start it. He’s 7 months old now, he’s still in cloth full time, not a single apology yet. People suck, mama! 😉
When I was pregnant with my fourth, the three prior being girls – everyone said, I bet you hope it’s a boy. Mostly they thought we had conceived TO GET a boy!!! Actually we just wanted a healthy baby. Sure I wanted to buy boys stuff and would love a son, but frankly I wanted the baby healthy. Even now everyone seems to think it’s great we finally got ‘our son.’ It’s ludicrous. We would have welcomed either.
Really?! Rehome the pups?! What a joke! those are a lot of really annoying questions…you should make flash cards for each question, and when someone asks one, just say, “Oh wait…hold that thought!” go into your purse, and pull out the correct response for their ridiculous question. That’ll shut them up!
Hahahahaha that would be fun and crafty too! I should come up with ridiculous responses for each question. Then I can pull the “ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer” thing.
Someone asked me if we were rehoming the dogs the other day and I asked them if they were rehoming their older child.
Usually I think we should let people off some of the kooky things they say, I mean half the time they don’t really care and they’re just trying to feign interest, but there’ some humdingers here! ‘You won’t cope with labour’!!! As if magical pixies got out all the other humans wandering around