I have to say, I’m still finding it hard to believe that we are here.
After twenty four cycles over three years, one loss and two rounds of clomid, I genuinely never thought we would be here. I know that some people say “you had it easy” but I’m not going to go there. Infertility sucks no matter what the ins and outs.
I can’t believe we are at a point where we are under three weeks away from being half way through this pregnancy and seven weeks away from her being viable. I can’t believe that we know there is a little girlie in there and she has a name. I can’t believe that I feel her move and flip around in there. I can’t believe that we are buying stuff for this little person who is going to come into our lives in just four short months!
I think after infertility and loss, every bit of pregnancy is filled with disbelief. For me at first it was the disbelief that I had no bleeding. None at all. Then the disbelief that we saw a heartbeat, then the disbelief that we got past the point that we did with Squishy last time. Amy and I were saying earlier that every scan has a moment of baited breath, where we expect something to be wrong and the dream taken away. The fact that every sonographer so far has said that she is “perfect” is more than we could have ever hoped for. I hope it stays that way for the remainder and when she is born.
Maybe one day soon we will get used to the fact that there is going to be a new person in our lives! Until then, we’re just enjoying the ride!